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Instant Identity Crisis: Dougie Released!?!by Cameron on March 13 at 4:34PM | comments (0)
[ comments (0) ] [ BallHype ] BREAKING NEWS: The Red Sox have released backup catcher Doug Mirabelli.That was the ticker - and the blog entries on both the Globe's Extra Bases and the Herald's Clubhouse Insider this morning - that rocked the world of WMYM. That's right, WMYM's team, the Red Sox, found a way to release a divine entity.  Theo, how could you release such a lovable, well, weirdo?You see, Doug Mirabelli is more than just a backup catcher, he's a force of nature. Or pehaps a farce of nature. Either way, he's one of the truly underrated characters in baseball. Who else would generate a cult following like the one that has created this piece of classic literature. Or found a way to start a national firestorm by opening a window for an ESPN broadcaster to claim Mirabelli said Schilling had painted his bloody sock before Game 6 of the 2004 ALCS. Or found a way to appear moderately intimidating when possessing only one notable skill: catching an aging knuckleballer.  All these characteristics are great cosmic mysteries which may never truly be deciphered. Until they are, one thing seemed certain: Doug Mirabelli would be a member of the Red Sox. Well, that serenity was shattered this morning, as the graying Mirabelli - it's worth noting he still wears the same early 90s style of wraparound shades - was sent packing. He's no longer on the Boston roster. He no longer is kept around to catch Tim Wakefield. He no longer can serve as a clubhouse menace, calling Nomar - or more recently, guys like Dustin Pedroia - inappropriate and culturally insensitive names. That's right ladies and gentlemen, the Red Sox have just released a legend. For that reason, we will always ask the question Who Made You Mirabelli? with pride. We'll always be waiting for Doug to pop back up and yell at an umpire with his inflated sense of self worth. We'll always compare whichever backup catcher wins the job - odds are with Kevin Cash, who performed admirably in Mirabelli's stead during Dougie's injury last summer, though the surging Dusty Brown is also a possibility - to Mirabelli's impressive receiving of Wakefield's flutter ball, a pitch which Mirabelli said was like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks. Don't cry yet, Mirabelli fans. If Cash and Brown struggle to catch Wakefield, it's entirely possible that Mirabelli could resurface and take another celebrity police cab ride to Fenway Park in time for a Wakefield start. Until then, we'll all have to keep our eyes peeled on the competition, and on the possibility that the career of a catcher notable only for being a backup, may finally have drawn to an unceremonious close. |
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