Crap! He Hired Boras!?!

Well, so much for peace in Manny-land. Earlier this afternoon, Manny Ramirez dumped his agents, longtime Manny lifestyle apologists Gene Matos and Greg Genske and hired fire-breather Scott Boras. SI.com broke the story, with the Globe jumping on it this morning then expounding after Epstein comfirmed the move.

There's an easy way to quantify this move for both Manny and the Sox. We'll give you Manny first: "Cha-ching! Cha-ching!"

Nice. OK, now here's Epstein and the Sox brass. "$h!+!!!!"

So much for poker faces. The two sides will now definitely be stone-faced heading toward an offseason when sparks will almost certainly fly. While Boston may have held closeted hopes of re-signing Manny to a 3-4 year deal at a discount before this move, those chances are all but gone now. If Manny was ever willing to reconsider his commitment to the organization - or at least where that commitment fit in with his other commitments to classic cars, money and living in hotel suites - it's evaporated now. Boras will ensure that.

What was Manny thinking? Well, that's easy. The odds of the Sox picking up one or both of his options will be determined almost solely on his play in 2008. Clearly, ManRam saw that writing on the wall over the offseason, when he hit Athletes Performance in Arizona for the first time and got ridiculously fit, also possibly for the first time.

Of course, that's where the conspiracy theory starts. Is it possible that Manny was already in cahoots with Boras, and that he went to AP at Boras' behest? Or was his offseason conditioning and the simultaneous dump-hire - incidentally, doesn't the whole move seem straight out of middle school the day before a big dance? Where else do you dump one person and pick up another the same day? It's just kinda gross, isn't it? - all part of a new Manny mindset?

If it all is part of a new Manny, then the Sox are probably in for some pretty impressive results this year. That would be a great thing. After the season? Maybe not so great.

Someone tell John Henry to start a new in-season 401K to set aside for Manny's new deal. It's the only way there'll be enough cash left in Back Bay to keep el World Series MVP numero uno around.

For what it's worth, here's what Manny's detente with the media looked like yesterday, courtesy video from the Globe. Seems almost as goofy as ever, right? If the dreads ever come off, we'll KNOW that the Boras influence in kicking in. Ol' Scotty in California has probably already done two regressional studies showing that Manny would get to four more balls and steak six more bases with a shaved head.

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