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Where Shall We Begin?by Cameron on February 7 at 4:46PM | comments (0)
[ comments (0) ] [ BallHype ] Hello, and welcome to your newest obsession. Well, that's a bit much, but this is MY obsession, which is why - hopefully - it'll become your obsession, too. And while I'm going to jump right into what everyone here really cares about, Red Sox, I thought it best to outline WHY this blog even exists. Unfortunately, that in itself would be far too boring to ever get you to read again, so instead I've called in good buddy Rich Garces - yes, that Guapo Rich Garces! - fresh from his stint in the independent minor leagues to help answer all your questions. So fire away.  YOU: Hey, Guapo! Guaaappo! How's it going man? RG: Bueno mis amigos YOU: What the hell happened to you? RG: Injuries, buffets, injuries. Not in that order. WMYM: Hey hey, this is supposed to be about the blog, not El Guapo. After all, you can always keep up with him here. Well, at least that's kinda him. YOU: OK, how the hell did you get El Guapo to answer questions? WMYM: One word: Tacos. YOU: Is that supposed to be funny? WMYM: Hope so. Otherwise I'm going to have to come up with a whole new shtick about postgame spreads and Big Papi. YOU: So, why am I reading this blog? WMYM: Because, like Seinfeld, it's here. Also, because you love the Red Sox. Or hate the Yankees. Or love knuckleball pitchers. At least one of those things. YOU: No I don't. WMYM: OK, clearly you're just here because you got my email then. Well, then it's in your contract. YOU: What contract? WMYM: The one I wrote when we were drunk four years ago. You were trying to figure out how to pick up the blond on the other side of the bar. I wrote it on a cocktail napkin with a stained coffee stirrer and included a verbal agreement clause. Pretty much pinned you in with that one. YOU: Shit. So now I have to read this drivel all the time? WMYM: Right. Well, we're not going to be talking like this the whole time. RG: Hey, are there any other questions for me over here? WMYM: Tacos are in the kitchen dude. RG: Sweet! Hasta! YOU: OK, so why Mirabelli? WMYM: Ever read Dougie's Going Deep? YOU: No. WMYM: Well, read it right here, right now. If that's not enough to convince you that Wakefield's personal catcher deserves personal deification, I don't know what will. YOU: Wait, so why didn't you just use "dougiesgoingdeep.com"? WMYM: That $h!+ had the site rights. YOU: So, when are we gonna start talking about the Sox? WMYM: Well, how about now? RG: Oh, amigo, we are OUT of tacos. We need to go hit up the Stop & Rob! WMYM: Get outta here Guapo. Jesus. |
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